If OPERATING SYSTEMS WERE AIRLINES.....
- DOS Air
- Passengers walk out onto the runway, grab hold of the plane, push it
until it gets in the air, hop on. then jump off when it hits the
ground. They grab the plane again, push it back in the air, hop on,
jump off.....
- Mac Airways
- The cashiers, flight attendants, and pilots all look all the same and
act the same. When you ask them questions about the flight, they reply
you don't want to know, don't need to know, and would please return to
your seat and watch the movie.
- Windows Airlines
- The terminal is neat and clean, the attendants courteous, the pilots
capable. The fleet of Lear Jets the carrier operates is immense. Your
jet takes off without a hitch, pushes above the clouds, and, at 20,000
feet, explodes without warning.
- OS/2 Skyways
- The terminal is almost empty, only a few prospective passengers mill
about. The announcer says that a flight has just departed, although no
planes appear to be on the runway. Airline personnel apologize profusely
to customers in hushed voices, pointing from time to time to the sleek,
powerful jets outside. They tell each passenger how great the flight
will be on these new jets and how much safer it will be than Windows
Airlines, but they will have to wait a little longer for the technicians
to finish the flight systems. Maybe until mid-1995. Maybe longer.
- Fly Windows NT
- Passengers carry their seats out onto the tarmac and place them in
the outline of a plane. They sit down, flap their arms, and make jet
swooshing sounds as if they are flying.
- Unix Express
- Passengers bring a piece of the airplane and a box of tools with them
to the airport. They gather on the tarmac, arguing about what kind of
plane they want to build. The passengers split into groups and build
several different aircraft, but give them all the same name. Only some
of the passengers reach their destinations, but all of them believe they
arrived.
3945

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