1. Their #1 product would be "Microsoft Winders".
2. Instead of an hourglass icon you'd get an empty beer bottle.
3. Occasionally you'd bring up a window that was covered with a Hefty bag and some duct tape.
4. Dialog boxes would give you the choice of "Ahh-right", "Naw", or "Git" instead of "Yes", "No", or Cancel."
5. Instead of "Ta-Da!", the opening sound would be Dueling Banjoes.
6. The "Recycle Bin" in Winders 95 would be an outhouse.
7. Whenever you pulled up the Sound Player you'd hear "Freebird!"
8. Instead of "Start Me Up", the Winders 95 theme song would be Achey-Breaky Heart."
9. Powerpoint would be named "ParPawnt."
10. Instead of "VP", Microsoft big shots would be called "Cuz."
11. Hardware could be repaired using parts from an old Trans Am.
12. Four words: Daisy Duke Screen Saver.
13. "Well, the first thing you know old Bill's a billionaire..."
14. Flight Simulator replaced by Tractor-Pull Simulator.
15. Microsoft CEO "Billy-Bob" (a.k.a. "Bubba") Gates.
16. "ParPawnt" would have "Pond Scum" and "Junk Yard" Schemes.
17. One wrong turn while surfing the web would send you face to face with 12 gauge.
18. "This computer protected by Smith and Wesson" screen saver.
19. Directions to Corporate Headquarters- "Down the road a piece."
20. Microsoft Word includes a phonetic spell checker "Hookt on fonics werk 4 me."
21. Development of Family Tree software would be replaced by the Family Straight Line.
22. New corporate dress code - no shoes allowed.

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