Peer Revision 1.1--ENGL 101-RDTN

University of South Dakota

Writer's Name ____________________  Readers' Names: ___________________________

ALL READERS: You may have to write on the back of the page if you're the 3rd, 4th, 5th ... reader.]

I. AS you read, ANNOTATE the essay (write in the margins) as follows:

Wherever the THESIS (main idea) is directly stated in the paper, write "thesis" beside it in the margin;
Put a "!" in the margin beside every good, interesting, and/or effective passage in the essay.
Put a "?" in the margin beside any section of the essay that is unclear.
Write any other helpful comment that occurs to you, including such comments as "unclear," "more details," "expand this Ś."

II. AFTER you've read, answer the following questions IN WRITING:

A. State the main idea of the essay. If the main idea is not clear, state that here.

B. A good narrative essay does more than tell a good story. There is usually a purpose beyond simply telling a story, a narrative point. The writer should be trying to convince readers of something that the writer believes is important. Does the writer do this? Explain.

C. Does the writer use concrete, specific description filled with sensory details? _______ (Yes or No)

If yes, list two examples of description:

Where could the paper use more description?

D. Did you find anything puzzling or confusing? Explain here.

E. Where could the writer use an analogy (comparing something unfamiliar to something with which the reader will be more familiar)?

F. What can be done to make the essay's opening paragraph more compelling? Would a dramatic bit of dialogue or a mood-setting descriptive passage help?

G. Are there some paragraphs that need AMPLIFICATION (508)? In other words, do some ideas or statements need to be expanded?

G. What could be done to make the essay's conclusion more effective? If the conclusion seems anticlimactic, would it help to end earlier? If the ending doesn't round off the essay in a satisfying way, what could be added that would echo an idea or image in the opening?

H. Is there anything that doesn't belong in the essay, that doesn't support the main idea? Which paragraphs (or passages) fail to advance the action, reveal character, or contribute to the story's mood? Should these sections be condensed or eliminated?

I. Where is it difficult to follow the chronology of events? Where should paragraph order be changed? Why? Where would additional time signals help?

J. What did you like best about this essay?

K. What was the weakest part of the essay?

During the last ten minutes of class, you should write in your journal. Read peer revision responses to YOUR essay; then answer the following questions.

Which comment(s) surprised you? Why?
Which comment or suggestion did you find most helpful?
Which comment or suggestion did you find leasthelpful?
In a paragraph, discuss your ideas or thoughts about revising this first draft.

Don't forget to date your journal entry; label the entry Peer Revision 1.1.

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