From your journals, read your descriptive paragraphs that were due today aloud to a peer revision partner or partners. Exchange journals temporarily. Below the writer's descriptive paragraph or on the next page, write your response to this paragraph, using the questions below to guide you. Be sure to identify yourself (example: "I'm Jane Smith") before answering the questions. Unwritten rule of peer revision: Be honest but kind. Focus on the writing, not the writer. When you are done responding, return the journal to the writer.
1. Is the paragraph organized in some way so that the reader doesn't get lost in the details? Explain; be specific.
--Does it provide an overview of what is being described followed by a description of its parts? Or:
--Does it describe the most prominent features first and then the smaller details?
2. Good descriptive writing appeals to the senses (sight, sound, taste, smell, touch). Which of your senses are affected in this paragraph? List them here, and list at least two details which appeal to the senses. If possible, underline all text in the paragraph which appeals to the senses.
3. Does the writer use a lot of general or abstract terms (in other words, should the writer be more specific)?
Does the writer rely too heavily on adjectives and adverbs to make the description vivid?
Does the writer use nouns and verbs which appeal to the senses? List two nouns and two verbs here that appeal to the senses.
4. Does the writer use an analogy or a familiar comparison, to help the reader understand what is being described? List it here.
5. Describe here what you think is the weakest part of the paragraph.
6. What do you like best about the paragraph?